Culinary Capers - In N' Out Burger

Before heading on the last leg of our trip to the West Coast, we needed to pick up our mission objectives, which were hidden at the (in)famous In N' Out Burger in Las Vegas, Nevada. The objectives were encrypted in a top secret language and hidden off of the fast food chain’s standard menu. The In N’ Out Burger menu is fairly straightforward offering only about four items: Cheeseburger, Double Double (Double Cheeseburger), French Fries and Shakes. Behind this fast food front we would find the information we needed with our password of: ****** *****

Ahh, we trust that no one is reading this blog so it wouldn’t be a breach of national security to list the real password: Animal Style. When you say this while placing your order they will serve your burger with a special sauce not too far from the special sauce on a Big Mac except with sautéed onions. Ordering a Double Double ‘Animal Style’ isn’t too uncommon. The real secret lies in ordering your Fries ‘Animal Style’ as well. They come loaded up with the Thousand Island/Mayo based special sauce, sautéed onions, melted cheese and top secret mission objectives necessary to get us to the West coast.



The simple password works because the In N’ Out Burger ‘Animal Style’ French Fries are so disturbingly unhealthy that no person would ever order them. We dismissed any thoughts of our personal health and ate the fries for the mission. When all of the cheese, special sauce and sautéed onions had been mopped up with the last of the fries, we knew our next objective.

Next Stop: Los Angeles… The Windy City!
(Thanks Kevin)

Senior Pantalones #5 – The Best Offense is a Good Detour

Finally Chris has won the title of Senior Pantalones and evened the score at 1 among all participants. He was responsible for plotting Detour #4: Santa Fe which we all agreed was a great 3 hour break where we got to walk around and take in the culture of New Mexico. Chris also found Tortilla Flats where we ate good blue corn enchiladas for dinner. All around, he did a great job blazing our trail for the day.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief that Dr Feelgood didn’t win the title for the second time so we wouldn’t all be losing to a minivan. When asked why it’s taken him so long before the first time he was named Senior Pantalones, Chris said, “Dr. Feelgood is tough competition.” To celebrate his victory, Chris got a tattoo and like any respectable Senior Pantalones, he didn’t wince in pain once.

Score:
Brendan: 1
Chris: 1
Dr. Feelgood (Minivan): 1
Mark: 1
Matt: 1
Dan: DNP

Four Corners National Monument: A Place of Supreme Significance

It’s widely known that Thomas Jefferson was a huge fan of geometry. So it's no surprise that when they were building the big puzzle of states that forms America, our founding fathers made four of the pieces touch each other forming a perfect X and Y axis. To honor this geographical landmark, a monument has been created to celebrate where Arizona, Colorado, New Hampshire and Utah all touch. Big deal…

Get out, take a picture and get back in the car. This place sucks.

Oh wow! Is that a snow cone stand? I take it all back. This is a national treasure just like South of the Border between North and South Carolina.

Mesa Verde: Where’d the Party Go?

The crew had hit a dry spell of a few days of long drives and they were in need of excitement. We went hunting for the party in Mesa Verde National Park where we’ve heard that the Pueblo Tribe, some of the earliest Americans, has been rocking it for thousands of years. We climbed and hiked 3 miles to find the party and work off some of the BBQ pork and steaks from the trip.

The hike was a harsh reminder that the early Americans used their legs for something other than pressing an accelerate pedal. While staring at amazing landscapes, we pondered the difficult journey early explorers must have had without cruise control.

We found clues in Petroglyphs or rock carvings that the ancient Pueblo tribes had carved into the side of a mountain. Our National Park Trail guide translated the story as ‘House Party’ that went pretty bumpin’ when one of the Corn tribesman’s parents left the city in the mountain alcove for the weekend. The tribesman invited his boys from the Water and Sand tribes over to party with him and a bunch of fly honeys in the alcove. After hearing about this epic party, we hit the start button again and took our hike off of pause to hurry up and join the party.
But alas! The party was dead. Careful investigation of some Park documents led us to deduce that all of the Pueblo people had left this party around the 1200’s. They must have run out of beer.

Culinary Capers: Same Eats, Different Location

Scorned by time, our adventurers failed to eat at the second restaurant that has appeared on Food Networks Diners, Drive Ins and Dives because it closes at 2 pm. They still wanted some authentic Southwestern cuisine but hunger had onset at the same time as their disappointment while standing around in the parking lot of the closed Tecolote Café. Improvisation required running back to the van and pushing off down Cerrillos Rd in search of food. The food Gods didn’t make them wait too long before offering up a Taco Bell with the familiar but still delicious crunch wraps, double decker tacos and chalupas.
Oh… But wait. Did you enjoy that little snack of misdirection we just fed you? Instead we ate at Tortilla Flats famous for their blue corn tortilla enchiladas.

The authentic Southwestern restaurant also satisfied our ‘smackering for something sweet and boozey’ with margaritas. Many expressed concerns about the future treacherous gaseous roads they faced with their 4 hour drive towards Mesa Verde that night, but still they saddled up in the van and rolled out of Santa Fe.
Editor’s Note: I couldn’t think of a more beautiful office to be blogging from, than watching the sun set on the plateaus of New Mexico from inside a minivan.

Detour # 4: Santa Fe, New Mexico

The drive from Amarillo, Texas to Santa Fe, New Mexico was one of the most beautiful stretches of land we’ve traversed so far. The diverse terrain made it hard for us to get distracted by the countless DVDs, audio books or XBOX games we brought in the van. We’ve been surrounded by plains in Oklahoma and Texas the past two days but now we are staring at exposed rock faces in mountains, plateaus, random crimson red craters in the earth and rolling hills that expand beyond our horizon as we continue hurdling West with favorable a favorable speed limit of 75 mph.

Fitted with our stylish new cowboy wear we made such great time on I-40 that we decided to make a detour to Santa Fe to see New Mexico’s capital city and famous American Indian Art.

The capitol building is 1/3 government administration space and 2/3 art gallery. It featured paintings, sculptures and tapestries by Native American artists. Downtown Santa Fe is a cool walking city pleasantly littered with more sculptures and historic sites.
We walked through the Historic Plaza where American Indians were selling handmade clothing and jewelry. We tried to go to the Institute of American Indian Art but were sent walking on a trail of tears after finding out they were minutes away from closing.

The Church of St Francis of Assisi was guarded by a bronze Statue of St Francis that made him look more like a gladiator than the founding Friar. Brendan successfully navigated his way through a labyrinth of bricks outside the church but we still weren't granted admittance. St Francis is one tough bugger.

There Worn from walking about a mile (we’ve been holed up in a car for the past two days, give us a break), we searched out some sustenance.

Senior Pantalones #4 – Dr Feelgood

Leaving Memphis, Tennessee at 10am and arriving in Amarillo, Texas at midnight meant that we spent the better part of 14 hours in our trusty steed “Dr. Feelgood”. We named our minivan after a blues singer who entertained us for hours at the Blues Hall on Beale St in Memphis. In addition to being an extremely reliable chariot so far, he offers the amenable accessories of satellite radio, a DVD player and an XBOX that we hooked up the Friday night before we departed from DC. Dr Feelgood made what could have been a rough day on the road into “A day in the living room but with a phenomenal view”. We watched Live Free or Die Hard, four episodes of Always Sunny in Philadelphia, listened to the kickass 90’s Alternative Rock station on satellite radio and a few episodes of This American Life (thanks Keith!), and played Halo on XBOX.

Miles Traveled as of Tuesday: 1700

Score:
Brendan: 1
Mark: 1
Matt: 1
Dr Feelgood: 1
Chris: 0
Dan: DNP

Beale St: Walking in Memphis

(This post is out of chronological order but to give Beale St justice, it required thorough documentation)

Still in the early stage of their expedition, Captain America and the crew were in need of some inspiration. They are reminded of a children’s song that lists the only requirements for happiness in life as “A song in my heart, food in my belly and love in my family”. Not yet home sick due to a slathering of hugs, kisses and warnings to “Be Careful” from Moms and Dads, our heroes did need take in as much music and food as possible while in Memphis.

If you are anyone with a soul and functioning taste buds, you need look no further than Beale St for your pursuit of happiness. It offers 3 blocks of freedom where you can walk in the middle of the street with a 32 oz beer while window shopping for the next blues club you want to sample.

Meat fell off the bones of slow cooked dry ribs at Blues City Café for dinner and the late night menu featured a 7 piece blues jam band. Every 4 songs a new musician tagged in for someone playing the bass, saxophone, drums or guitar and drastically switched up the style of songs they performed.

BB King’s Blues Club while a tad touristy still served up great music with two blues sets we sat through. The first was a blind harmonica player and drummer duo that played while we shared a sausage and cheese plate. Their late night band was led by a 22 year old guitarist and 14 year old harmonica player.

Brendan adeptly figured out that you could walk through doors that connected all of the clubs on one side of Beale St which helped us circumvent the $3 cover at Rum Boogie Blues. The club has a rich history of memorabilia from the blues, jazz and rock musicians that all played there early in their career. To name a few the list included Elvis, Styxx, Steve Ray Vaugh, Aerosmith and Alice Cooper. Because the ‘the next big band’ was on a break between sets while we popped in for dinner, this was one of the few clubs that we didn’t get to hear live music at. However we were treated to an all star Memphis Gator Gumbo with sausage, chicken, alligator, catfish, shrimp and crawdads.

Silk O’Sullivan’s was a dueling piano bar with a huge outdoor patio where goats in a gated area while you enjoy the open air and their specialty drink called “The Diver”. Served in a yellow gallon bucket with 7 straws, this beverage is meant to be shared. The specifics of its contents are a secret but our heroes deduced it is mostly beer with a few shots of rum and cherry juice for color.

The club we enjoyed the most was called Mr Handy's Blues Hall where we sat through a few sets by Dr Feelgood Potts Band. This authentic blues band was fronted by Dr Feelgood Potts and his deep arsenal of harmonicas. They were cheered on by Dr Feelgood’s family in the front seats who shouted requests at him before, after and in the middle of their songs. The blues Doctor would run off of the stage mid song and out of the bar trying to get more people to come in and hear them perform. He had everyone screaming along with him and his sister-in-laws pulled Chris from our table to dance with them. The highlight of the second set they played was when Dr Feelgood Potts got so into the music that he danced his way into a few music cables and knocked a speaker off of a table and onto the floor.