Detour # 4: Santa Fe, New Mexico

The drive from Amarillo, Texas to Santa Fe, New Mexico was one of the most beautiful stretches of land we’ve traversed so far. The diverse terrain made it hard for us to get distracted by the countless DVDs, audio books or XBOX games we brought in the van. We’ve been surrounded by plains in Oklahoma and Texas the past two days but now we are staring at exposed rock faces in mountains, plateaus, random crimson red craters in the earth and rolling hills that expand beyond our horizon as we continue hurdling West with favorable a favorable speed limit of 75 mph.

Fitted with our stylish new cowboy wear we made such great time on I-40 that we decided to make a detour to Santa Fe to see New Mexico’s capital city and famous American Indian Art.

The capitol building is 1/3 government administration space and 2/3 art gallery. It featured paintings, sculptures and tapestries by Native American artists. Downtown Santa Fe is a cool walking city pleasantly littered with more sculptures and historic sites.
We walked through the Historic Plaza where American Indians were selling handmade clothing and jewelry. We tried to go to the Institute of American Indian Art but were sent walking on a trail of tears after finding out they were minutes away from closing.

The Church of St Francis of Assisi was guarded by a bronze Statue of St Francis that made him look more like a gladiator than the founding Friar. Brendan successfully navigated his way through a labyrinth of bricks outside the church but we still weren't granted admittance. St Francis is one tough bugger.

There Worn from walking about a mile (we’ve been holed up in a car for the past two days, give us a break), we searched out some sustenance.

Am I a Real Cowboy?

The morning was kicked off with a Texas sized meal of blueberry pancakes, eggs and crispy bacon at Ye Old Pancake Station.

Then we headed to Boots N’ Jeans in Amarillo, TX to get the necessary disguises to continue heading into the Wild West, we needed to be outfitted with the right gear. . .

Chris settled on a black felt hat. He’ll be your Huckleberry.

Mark picked up a white straw hat with light brown trim that fits right for the summer season.

Matt grabbed a sharp cream palm hat with a customized brown hat belt. The saleswoman was so taken by the way he looked in his hat that she asked for his email address (so Boots N’ Jeans could send him future specials).

Brendan dug deep to his inner explorer and found a dark brown Indiana Jones hat that spoke to his heart.

We also picked up some light cotton cowboy patterned Wrangler shirts with pearl snaps to further fit in as we travel into the frontier.

Next Stop: Santa Fe, New Mexico and Mesa Verde National Park

Culinary Capers: Oklahoma Steaks

Worn from a long day of driving as our heroes continue their westward trek, they arrived in Oklahoma with both their van and stomachs running on fumes. The great state lent one its most famous resources, massive steaks, for $22.95 at Cattleman’s Café in Oklahoma City.

The steaks were butchered on site at the restaurant and fresh as can be from the slaughterhouse. We all ate the filet mignon wrapped in bacon with a side of salad and mashed potatoes smothered in white gravy. The hearty meal was topped off with apple pie a la mode which was decided upon by Matt who was Senior Pantalones for the day.
Curse our satiated guts! We had another 4 hours to drive to push on through to Amarillo, Texas before the day’s travels were finished.

American Land Ho'

Hark! I sense adventure on the horizon. Yes, using my Super Sight I can see that this requires investigation.

After a quick Congressional Appropriations meeting to acquire funding I, Captain America, and the Patriot Force must embark on a three week ‘Quest for Awesome’ to explore the Heartland. The bill labeled “Lewis & Clark Part II: Let’s Get This Party Started”, breezed through the House but just squeaked by in the Senate. For a brief moment when the budget line item for Giant Foam Cowboy Hats was called into question. Senator Byrd (D), WV balked at paying for 11 Giant Foam Cowboy Hats when only 5 people are part of the American Re-Discovery team. Party lines were instantly divided, but upon finding out that the Giant Foam Cowboy Hats were made in the US, a bipartisan decision was reached that the team of adventurers would be outfitted with 315 of the hats.

The excessive order was placed in the interest of stimulating the economy. The team bought a car top carrier to store away the hats, loaded their gear and departed.

Destination Fun #1 – Nashville, TN

Trip Checklist - Masked Avenger from DC

Here are a few of the things I'll need for the 3 week expedition across the country. Any contributions would be appreciated.

Red, White and Blue Superhero Outfits - 3
Nigh-indestructible discus-shaped shield made from a fusion of vibranium with an experimental steel alloy - 2
Axels - 2
Oxen - 0
10 Gallon Wash Tub - 1
Knives - 2
Guns - 1
Gunpowder - 4 pounds
Meat (not fish) - 70 pounds
Bandannas - 3
Overalls - 2
Flannel Shirts - 2
Tents - 2
Pots - 2
Pans - 1
OTPHJ Punch Cards - 5
Cases of Miller High Life - 7