Still licking our wounds and grimacing while holding our tummies after the massive meal at Pinks Hotdogs in LA, we decided we needed to rest longer before hitting the road again. We were snatched while walking on Hollywood Blvd and whisked into the Jimmy Kimmel Live Show on ABC to be part of the audience because of our standout good looks. Brendan and Lindsey were seated in the front row of the show so the director had some attractive people to cut to going in and out of commercial breaks.
His guests for the show were:
Adam Carolla (The Hammer on DVD) Rominey Malco (40 Year Old Virgin and The Love Guru) Peter Berg (Director of Hancock with Will Smith) Using the Burger King menu to grade the show, we thought it was a Jr. Whopper (no cheese) until the musical guest Billy Idol performed. The show took a break until the sun went down and picked back up in the theater’s parking lot where a huge stage had been constructed. Billy Idol took the stage and performed a new song “John Wayne” and his classic “Rebel Yell” for the show.
He continued to play a few other songs from his new Best Of album and then rocked through some classic rock covers too. He kicked ass because he is Billy F*ing Idol. Sufficiently rejuvenated by the rock concert, we said goodbye to Lindsey and set off in Dr. Feelgood heading back East.
Or at least our heroes were shut down in a food coma for the next 24 hours after eating at the famous Pink’s Hotdogs in Hollywood, CA. They patiently staked out the hotdog stand that has been serving up wieners in Hollywood for the past 69 years. After an hour and fifteen minutes of menu surveillance, we stepped up to the counter and entered the all beef zone. The memory of our waitress was tested with our order but our gastronomic capacity was put to a true test when she returned with two trays of fully loaded hotdogs.
Surrounded with our backs against the wall, our only option was to eat our way out of this beefy predicament. Undaunted, our heroes overcame the hotdog suicide mission albeit wounded in the gut and deeply in need of antacids.
Here is the hotdog rundown:
Matt: Millennium Hotdog: 12 Inch Jalapeno Dog topped with chili, onions, tomatoes and guacamole Coleslaw Dog: Standard hotdog topped with coleslaw and BBQ sauce
Dan: Martha Stewart: 12 Inch hotdog topped with saurkrawt, grilled onions, bacon, tomatoes, mustard and sour cream Chili Cheese Dog: Standard hotdog with chili and nacho cheese
Mark: Millennium: 12 Inch Jalapeno Dog topped with chili, onions, tomatoes and guacamole Stretch Chili Dog: 10 Inch hotdog topped with chili, onions and nacho cheese
Brendan: Lord of the Rings: 10 Inch stretch hotdog with onion rings and BBQ sauce Chili Cheese Dog: Standard hotdog with chili and nacho cheese
Chris: Stretch Chili Dog: 10 Inch hotdog topped with chili, onions and nacho cheese Spicy Polish Dog: Polish sausage topped with chili, onions and nacho cheese
Lindsey: Turkey Dog: Standard sized turkey dog with ketchup.
Before heading on the last leg of our trip to the West Coast, we needed to pick up our mission objectives, which were hidden at the (in)famous In N' Out Burger in Las Vegas, Nevada. The objectives were encrypted in a top secret language and hidden off of the fast food chain’s standard menu. The In N’ Out Burger menu is fairly straightforward offering only about four items: Cheeseburger, Double Double (Double Cheeseburger), French Fries and Shakes. Behind this fast food front we would find the information we needed with our password of: ****** *****
Ahh, we trust that no one is reading this blog so it wouldn’t be a breach of national security to list the real password: Animal Style. When you say this while placing your order they will serve your burger with a special sauce not too far from the special sauce on a Big Mac except with sautéed onions. Ordering a Double Double ‘Animal Style’ isn’t too uncommon. The real secret lies in ordering your Fries ‘Animal Style’ as well. They come loaded up with the Thousand Island/Mayo based special sauce, sautéed onions, melted cheese and top secret mission objectives necessary to get us to the West coast.
The simple password works because the In N’ Out Burger ‘Animal Style’ French Fries are so disturbingly unhealthy that no person would ever order them. We dismissed any thoughts of our personal health and ate the fries for the mission. When all of the cheese, special sauce and sautéed onions had been mopped up with the last of the fries, we knew our next objective.
Next Stop: Los Angeles… The Windy City! (Thanks Kevin)
(This post is out of chronological order but to give Beale St justice, it required thorough documentation)
Still in the early stage of their expedition, Captain America and the crew were in need of some inspiration. They are reminded of a children’s song that lists the only requirements for happiness in life as “A song in my heart, food in my belly and love in my family”. Not yet home sick due to a slathering of hugs, kisses and warnings to “Be Careful” from Moms and Dads, our heroes did need take in as much music and food as possible while in Memphis.
If you are anyone with a soul and functioning taste buds, you need look no further than Beale St for your pursuit of happiness. It offers 3 blocks of freedom where you can walk in the middle of the street with a 32 oz beer while window shopping for the next blues club you want to sample.
Meat fell off the bones of slow cooked dry ribs at Blues City Café for dinner and the late night menu featured a 7 piece blues jam band. Every 4 songs a new musician tagged in for someone playing the bass, saxophone, drums or guitar and drastically switched up the style of songs they performed. BB King’s Blues Club while a tad touristy still served up great music with two blues sets we sat through. The first was a blind harmonica player and drummer duo that played while we shared a sausage and cheese plate. Their late night band was led by a 22 year old guitarist and 14 year old harmonica player.
Brendan adeptly figured out that you could walk through doors that connected all of the clubs on one side of Beale St which helped us circumvent the $3 cover at Rum Boogie Blues. The club has a rich history of memorabilia from the blues, jazz and rock musicians that all played there early in their career. To name a few the list included Elvis, Styxx, Steve Ray Vaugh, Aerosmith and Alice Cooper. Because the ‘the next big band’ was on a break between sets while we popped in for dinner, this was one of the few clubs that we didn’t get to hear live music at. However we were treated to an all star Memphis Gator Gumbo with sausage, chicken, alligator, catfish, shrimp and crawdads. Silk O’Sullivan’s was a dueling piano bar with a huge outdoor patio where goats in a gated area while you enjoy the open air and their specialty drink called “The Diver”. Served in a yellow gallon bucket with 7 straws, this beverage is meant to be shared. The specifics of its contents are a secret but our heroes deduced it is mostly beer with a few shots of rum and cherry juice for color.
The club we enjoyed the most was called Mr Handy's Blues Hall where we sat through a few sets by Dr Feelgood Potts Band. This authentic blues band was fronted by Dr Feelgood Potts and his deep arsenal of harmonicas. They were cheered on by Dr Feelgood’s family in the front seats who shouted requests at him before, after and in the middle of their songs. The blues Doctor would run off of the stage mid song and out of the bar trying to get more people to come in and hear them perform. He had everyone screaming along with him and his sister-in-laws pulled Chris from our table to dance with them. The highlight of the second set they played was when Dr Feelgood Potts got so into the music that he danced his way into a few music cables and knocked a speaker off of a table and onto the floor.
Worn from a long day of driving as our heroes continue their westward trek, they arrived in Oklahoma with both their van and stomachs running on fumes. The great state lent one its most famous resources, massive steaks, for $22.95 at Cattleman’s Café in Oklahoma City. The steaks were butchered on site at the restaurant and fresh as can be from the slaughterhouse. We all ate the filet mignon wrapped in bacon with a side of salad and mashed potatoes smothered in white gravy. The hearty meal was topped off with apple pie a la mode which was decided upon by Matt who was Senior Pantalones for the day. Curse our satiated guts! We had another 4 hours to drive to push on through to Amarillo, Texas before the day’s travels were finished.
Once there was a guy named Elvis. He made a lot of money by singing and appearing in movies like Forest Gump. Elvis was born in Mississippi, but built a castle called Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee. Some people think he is still alive and others think that he died as a big fat pill addict in his bathroom. One thing that everyone agrees on is that Graceland was a sweet place to die a big fat pill addict.
It's unclear why Elvis outfitted his house with a room activated audio tour, but we were thankful for it. He had a room with stained glass peacocks, a lounge with 3 TVs and a porcelain monkey, a mirrored staircase, a Cosby sweater upholstered pool room, a trophy house, and an "Elvis Cave" where he stored all of his sequin outfits.
To many who don't know much about Elvis, his most famous work was a futuristic synthesized album titled "Elvis Aloha from Hawaii via Satellite". Will Smith claims that this album was the inspiration for the performance he delivered in the 2004 film "I Robot". Plus some judging by his outfits and postures today wonder aloud if he was a drag queen (Mark), but we learned on the tour that he was once a married man and had a following of women that still today get exciting when they hear his voice or see his outfits.
Still licking our wounds and grimacing while holding our tummies after the massive meal at Pinks Hotdogs in LA, we decided we needed to rest longer before hitting the road again. We were snatched while walking on Hollywood Blvd and whisked into the Jimmy Kimmel Live Show on ABC to be part of the audience because of our standout good looks. Brendan and Lindsey were seated in the front row of the show so the director had some attractive people to cut to going in and out of commercial breaks.
Using the Burger King menu to grade the show, we thought it was a Jr. Whopper (no cheese) until the musical guest Billy Idol performed. The show took a break until the sun went down and picked back up in the theater’s parking lot where a huge stage had been constructed. Billy Idol took the stage and performed a new song “John Wayne” and his classic “Rebel Yell” for the show. 
