Bryce Canyon National Park

Some people believe that you can learn a good deal about both the history and future by staring into the depths of a large canyon. Our heroes traveled to Bryce Canyon National Park in Utah to get a glimpse of what might lay in their path for the rest of their quest.

The future looks to be made of a pit filled with spiky redish sandstone. That could be interpreted as a dark omen for their future travels.

Or…

Root Beer Bottle Candies

Japanese Chocolate Pocky Sticks

Bacon

Can you tell that we were thinking about food while looking back at our pictures from Bryce? We drove from Bryce to Salt Lake City without stopping for dinner.

Mount Zion National Park: Angel’s Landing

On a reconnaissance mission we had to climb the heavens to get a better view of America. We found the amazing view we were looking for on the Angel’s Landing hike at Mount Zion National Park in Springdale, Utah.

We slept well under the stars in our large 8 person tent after filling up on Polygamy Porter, a Utah microbrew (Why have just one?), and smores around the campfire. The next morning we woke up prepared for a 5 mile that hike took us up 1800 feet via non-stop switchbacks and required all of our agility while traversing climbs up 3 foot wide paths with death looming in the form of a 6300 foot fall on either side. We pulled ourselves up the mountain at times using chains nailed into the rock. The top of Angel’s Landing provided a place for us to take a quick nap in the sun and appreciate one of the many beautifully serene places our country has to offer. Recharged with sun and sandwiches we took a few more pictures from our high perch on the mountain that we used to plot our course north through Utah.

Thanks to Tim and Troy for recommending the park and hike.

Jimmy Kimmel Live: Billy F*cking Idol

Still licking our wounds and grimacing while holding our tummies after the massive meal at Pinks Hotdogs in LA, we decided we needed to rest longer before hitting the road again. We were snatched while walking on Hollywood Blvd and whisked into the Jimmy Kimmel Live Show on ABC to be part of the audience because of our standout good looks. Brendan and Lindsey were seated in the front row of the show so the director had some attractive people to cut to going in and out of commercial breaks.

His guests for the show were:

Adam Carolla (The Hammer on DVD)
Rominey Malco (40 Year Old Virgin and The Love Guru)
Peter Berg (Director of Hancock with Will Smith) Using the Burger King menu to grade the show, we thought it was a Jr. Whopper (no cheese) until the musical guest Billy Idol performed. The show took a break until the sun went down and picked back up in the theater’s parking lot where a huge stage had been constructed. Billy Idol took the stage and performed a new song “John Wayne” and his classic “Rebel Yell” for the show.

He continued to play a few other songs from his new Best Of album and then rocked through some classic rock covers too. He kicked ass because he is Billy F*ing Idol. Sufficiently rejuvenated by the rock concert, we said goodbye to Lindsey and set off in Dr. Feelgood heading back East.

Culinary Capers - Pink's Hotdogs... Suicide Mission

Dead. All dead.

Or at least our heroes were shut down in a food coma for the next 24 hours after eating at the famous Pink’s Hotdogs in Hollywood, CA. They patiently staked out the hotdog stand that has been serving up wieners in Hollywood for the past 69 years. After an hour and fifteen minutes of menu surveillance, we stepped up to the counter and entered the all beef zone. The memory of our waitress was tested with our order but our gastronomic capacity was put to a true test when she returned with two trays of fully loaded hotdogs.

Surrounded with our backs against the wall, our only option was to eat our way out of this beefy predicament. Undaunted, our heroes overcame the hotdog suicide mission albeit wounded in the gut and deeply in need of antacids.

Here is the hotdog rundown:

Matt:
Millennium Hotdog: 12 Inch Jalapeno Dog topped with chili, onions, tomatoes and guacamole
Coleslaw Dog: Standard hotdog topped with coleslaw and BBQ sauce

Dan:
Martha Stewart: 12 Inch hotdog topped with saurkrawt, grilled onions, bacon, tomatoes, mustard and sour cream
Chili Cheese Dog: Standard hotdog with chili and nacho cheese

Mark:
Millennium: 12 Inch Jalapeno Dog topped with chili, onions, tomatoes and guacamole
Stretch Chili Dog: 10 Inch hotdog topped with chili, onions and nacho cheese

Brendan:
Lord of the Rings: 10 Inch stretch hotdog with onion rings and BBQ sauce
Chili Cheese Dog: Standard hotdog with chili and nacho cheese

Chris:
Stretch Chili Dog: 10 Inch hotdog topped with chili, onions and nacho cheese
Spicy Polish Dog: Polish sausage topped with chili, onions and nacho cheese

Lindsey:
Turkey Dog: Standard sized turkey dog with ketchup.

Beale St: Walking in Memphis

(This post is out of chronological order but to give Beale St justice, it required thorough documentation)

Still in the early stage of their expedition, Captain America and the crew were in need of some inspiration. They are reminded of a children’s song that lists the only requirements for happiness in life as “A song in my heart, food in my belly and love in my family”. Not yet home sick due to a slathering of hugs, kisses and warnings to “Be Careful” from Moms and Dads, our heroes did need take in as much music and food as possible while in Memphis.

If you are anyone with a soul and functioning taste buds, you need look no further than Beale St for your pursuit of happiness. It offers 3 blocks of freedom where you can walk in the middle of the street with a 32 oz beer while window shopping for the next blues club you want to sample.

Meat fell off the bones of slow cooked dry ribs at Blues City Café for dinner and the late night menu featured a 7 piece blues jam band. Every 4 songs a new musician tagged in for someone playing the bass, saxophone, drums or guitar and drastically switched up the style of songs they performed.

BB King’s Blues Club while a tad touristy still served up great music with two blues sets we sat through. The first was a blind harmonica player and drummer duo that played while we shared a sausage and cheese plate. Their late night band was led by a 22 year old guitarist and 14 year old harmonica player.

Brendan adeptly figured out that you could walk through doors that connected all of the clubs on one side of Beale St which helped us circumvent the $3 cover at Rum Boogie Blues. The club has a rich history of memorabilia from the blues, jazz and rock musicians that all played there early in their career. To name a few the list included Elvis, Styxx, Steve Ray Vaugh, Aerosmith and Alice Cooper. Because the ‘the next big band’ was on a break between sets while we popped in for dinner, this was one of the few clubs that we didn’t get to hear live music at. However we were treated to an all star Memphis Gator Gumbo with sausage, chicken, alligator, catfish, shrimp and crawdads.

Silk O’Sullivan’s was a dueling piano bar with a huge outdoor patio where goats in a gated area while you enjoy the open air and their specialty drink called “The Diver”. Served in a yellow gallon bucket with 7 straws, this beverage is meant to be shared. The specifics of its contents are a secret but our heroes deduced it is mostly beer with a few shots of rum and cherry juice for color.

The club we enjoyed the most was called Mr Handy's Blues Hall where we sat through a few sets by Dr Feelgood Potts Band. This authentic blues band was fronted by Dr Feelgood Potts and his deep arsenal of harmonicas. They were cheered on by Dr Feelgood’s family in the front seats who shouted requests at him before, after and in the middle of their songs. The blues Doctor would run off of the stage mid song and out of the bar trying to get more people to come in and hear them perform. He had everyone screaming along with him and his sister-in-laws pulled Chris from our table to dance with them. The highlight of the second set they played was when Dr Feelgood Potts got so into the music that he danced his way into a few music cables and knocked a speaker off of a table and onto the floor.

Detour #3 – How Booze Is Made

Nashville was fun. We checked out of our hotel and hit the road for Memphis. Mark heard from someone in Nashville that we were close to the Jack Daniels Distillery. A quick unanimous van vote changed our course and the day to add a detour through Lynchburg, Tennessee to learn how Jack Daniels whiskey is made (last night we found out how it tastes).

Our tour was very informative on both the process of distilling whiskey and the history of Jack Daniels. The tour guide had a thick Tennessee accent and colorful southern twang. Her accent was so twangy at times we were clueless if she was talking about the type of wood they use to make the whiskey barrels or how plants absorb sunlight and convert it to energy in a process called photosynthesis. She thought we had an Indiana accent and that she didn’t have an accent because everyone in her town sounds the same and that all of us “War of Northern Aggression" types sound the same to her. (Except for the accents part, the last sentence was mostly an editorial comment to help paint the picture of how we view southerners).

How Whiskey Is Made:
1) Pick quality wood and build Lincoln log type structures that will be set on fire to form charcoal.


2) Use fresh well water from a cave in a mountain on the Jack Daniels Distillery property.


3) Visit the old wooden house where tour guides talk about Jack Daniels’ life. Maybe this has something to do with the aging process but it wasn’t completely clear. Jack died at the age of 61 after he angrily kicked his safe and got gangrene in his foot. A few bits of his gangrene foot make it into every barrel of whiskey (Drink up!).


4) Something happens with yeast to produce a horrible smell that I don’t recommend you inhale if you imbibed the night before.
5) No Flash Photography is allowed on the tour. The tour guide explained flash photography is bad for whiskey because it spoils the color causing it to look neon yellow like Red Bull rather than dark mahogany brown.

6) Drip the yeast liquid that was not photographed using a flash and filter it through the charcoal. This process is pretty much like using a Brita water filter except it produces sweet sweet booze rather than water.


7) Watch another video about how they make barrels. Each barrel is tested personally by Donkey Kong rolling it down a construction site at Super Mario. If the barrel doesn’t break when it gets to the bottom of the stage (or smashed by Mario with a power mallet), it gets filled with liquid booze. We then learned that due to a communication barrier the color of whiskey actually comes from the wood barrel and Not Using Flash Photography…we still don’t know why we weren’t allowed to use a flash.


8) Watch another video about bottling whiskey. It’s all done by old white women with salt and pepper perms.


9) The barrels are stored from anywhere between 6 weeks to 731 days (Tennessee accent). The master distiller who looks like Baseball Tonight’s John Kruk arbitrarily decides when the whiskey has been in the barrels long enough and then makes the booze available for you to drink and forget all of the problems in your life. It’s unclear why they show you barrels after the bottling process, but who are we to question southern tradition.



10) We were amazed to learn that a space center is located near Jack Daniels distillery, so the liquor stores around the world can get rocket delivered whiskey as soon as Kruk gives us it the ok…the moon landing is a cool feat, but the delivery system brings joy to all, I think this needs more press.
Tip: Don’t visit the Jack Daniels Distillery on a Sunday because no booze is served or sold in Lynchburg, Tennessee even if you take a 2 hour detour looking for a sip.

Next stop: Memphis

26 y/o M ISO America the Beautiful

"Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
America I have a MiniVan...
And I'm coming to find You"

- Captain America